the only way for to manage as a dad has been to take his wife and two daughters with him. With this blog, Matt shares some of the insights he’s gleaned along the way, as well as tips, tricks, reviews and other fun stories.

Family time, unplugged

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I unplug to escape stuff like this. (Me! In Times Square!)

I unplug to escape stuff like this. (Me! In Times Square!)

As a freelance writer, I have to stay connected most of the time. My business depends on it—if I miss an email from an editor, I might miss out on a potential assignment, which means missing out on cold cash.

Generally speaking, I don’t mind this constant state of connectedness. It enables me to stay on top of trends, and to build my brand as a family travel blogger by posting Instagram pictures and other social media missives when we travel as a clan.

Still, every now and again, it’s nice to take a trip on which I’m completely unplugged.

Powerwoman and I try to take one such trip every year. For better or for worse, these tech-free trips usually happen when the two of us have the opportunity to steal away together, without the girls. In fact, we leave later today for four days of disconnected bliss on the Mendocino County coast (which is about three hours from our home).

The plan for these trips is pretty simple: Keep me away from technology at all costs. No Facebooking. No Tweeting. No Instagramming. And almost certainly no email.

Of course going away without the children necessitates a certain degree of connectivity; my mother-in-law, who’s watching the girls back at our place, needs to be able to reach us in case of an emergency. What’s more, Powerwoman often brings her phone so the two of us have at least one camera to document great places and fun times.

Still, for me, these trips are glorious. Because I get to just be in the moment. Every moment. All day long.

Preparing for our tech-free vacations always reminds me just how dependent on technology we’ve become. It also inspires me to try to be more tech-free in my everyday life. Especially when I’m with the kids: Do I really need to check my phone every time the damn thing vibrates or sends me a notification?

Of course the answer is no. And of course it will be far more difficult to ask and answer that question one month from now, when this unplugged vacation is long over and I’m back in the thick of life. Still, the question itself is a good one. And the self-examination it inspires almost always leads to more self-awareness, and at least the recognition that I could and must be better.

The bottom line: We all could stand to ditch some technology. I challenge you to take the same break in your life and evaluate the consequences. Big changes take time. This one’s worth waiting for.

Sucker for the midway

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Yours truly. With an emu. On the carousel.

Yours truly. With an emu. On the carousel.

My name is Matt Villano and I’m a sucker for a carnival midway.

I’ve been a midway maniac for most of my life. I play games. Lots of games. I’ve never seen a ping-pong-ball-in-the-goldfish-bowl game I didn’t like. I can’t whack enough moles. I love shooting water into a clown’s mouth. And I wholeheartedly embrace the challenge of knocking down three milk jugs with one bean bag.

I chose this forum in which to come clean because, well, attending carnivals always is better with kids. And because the county fair has been going now for the last two weeks. And because I just went with my kids and their two cousins.

You read that right, people: This year I hit up our local county fair solo, in charge of four kids between the ages of 3 and 14.

I like to think of the experience as EXTREME FAMILY TRAVEL: One almost-40 dad and four kids brave 100-degree temperatures to go on rides, pump their veins full of sugar and shoot baskets until their wrists fall off.

We took a wagon for my girls. We alternated between little-kid rides and big-kid rides. And—of course—we snuck in dozens and dozens of games. We won a few fish. We won 19 stuffed animals. We even won some silly little necklace.

Along the way, I taught L and R how to bash rubber frogs from catapults and on to lily pads. I gave my niece and nephew a crash course in fair food (Lobster Corn Dog 1, Niece & Nephew 0).

Oh, and I must have spent like $500 in an afternoon (seriously).

Still, IT WAS THE FAIR, which means, it was a blast. Some traveling parents may strive to avoid these types of chaotic environments like the plague. I, for one, embrace them wholeheartedly. Whether I’m 30 minutes away from home or 3,000 miles away from the nearest national border, if there’s a carnival midway, I’ll be there. Experiencing it all with my kids makes the fun even better. Which is precisely why I don’t plan to break this addiction any time soon.

A hook that makes family travel easier

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The Airhook, in action.

The Airhook, in action.

Considering how frequently I travel with my kids, I’m always looking for gadgets and gizmos that can make the experience easier and more efficient. That’s one of the reasons I love a new product from an inventor named Craig Rabin. He calls the product The Airhook. And though he designed it to help business travelers, I see a ton of family travel implications as well. I recently caught up with Rabin over email to chat about his new product. Here is an edited transcript of our chat.

MJV: What prompted the invention of The Airhook? What challenge were you trying to solve? What was your frustration?

Craig Rabin (CR): I was flying from Seattle to San Francisco and was wearing a sport coat. After boarding the plane, I asked the flight attendant if there was space to hang my coat. There was not.  That left me with two options: Store it overhead (and have a horribly wrinkled coat) or wear it on the flight (and be horribly overheated). After choosing to wear it on the flight and noticing the sweat start to run, I sat there staring at the tray table in front of me. How handy would it be if there was a clip or hook that could better utilize the tray table to hang up my coat?  An invention was born.

MJV: For whom do you see this tool working best? Biz travelers? Leisure travelers?

CR: Our Design & Testing team has flown with The Airhook on many flights which span tens of thousands of air miles during the course of product development. On every trip we have met interested consumers that were all flying for various reasons. Some were road warriors, others were parents with families and some were big and tall and unable to utilize the tray table. But everyone seemed to want greater convenience now.  The common comment was something like, ‘The Airhook is great timing because as airlines are making seats closer and closer together, the tray table remains the same size.’

MJV: You mentioned family travelers. What specific benefits does The Airhook deliver for them?

CR: Families come in all different ages and sizes. Someone in a family headed to Las Vegas to celebrate a child’s 21st birthday will use The Airhook to hold a cocktail while practicing blackjack on the iPad. The family with young children will use The Airhook as hands-free entertainment to keep the little ones entertained while the grownups enjoy easy access to anything in a carry-on bag. One of the most interesting parts of testing and showing The Airhook simply has been telling folks about the concept. Everyone seems to have a different key benefit in mind, since everyone has their own travel quirks.

MJV: Are there any ways for moms and dads to use The Airhook to solve another problem/need associated w/family travel? If so, what are some of them?

CR: I have no children just yet, so I figured I would consult a higher authority and asked my mother what I was like as a child on an airplane. She said, ‘You never sat still and had to go to the bathroom every half hour!’ So for the child in me, The Airhook would have allowed me to have hands-free entertainment while still bouncing around in my seat. The tray table constricted me and I guess my kicking spilled a few drinks! The Airhook would also have allowed me (and the entire row most of the time) to freely stand and move out of the row when I asked to go to the bathroom for the fifth time.

MJV: How does Kickstarter play into your story?

CR: Kickstarter for us was more about marketing then crowd funding. We had already raised a friends-and-family round of funding that secured product development to date and allowed us to obtain global patent protection on the Intellectual Property.  We wanted to utilize Kickstarter for its viral abilities in order to get market validation and approval. The team decided to set our fundraising goal based on the minimum number of people we needed to reach (funding goal/lowest donation amount) vs. how much we hoped to raise. Once the Kickstarter community gave us their stamp of approval (they funded our dream in 73 hours), Kickstarter became a landing page for PR inquiries in order to further get the word out. Media outlets were reaching out to us saying, ‘We just saw your Kickstarter page.’ That further accelerated our growth.

MJV: When/where can people buy the product, and how soon will it be available?

CR: Right now we are taking orders on our website. It’s $24.95 per unit with discounts as quantity increases. We plan to ship product the first week of December as we are dedicated to getting The Airhook in customers’ hands by the busiest travel time of the year: THE HOLIDAYS! That means The Airhook is a perfect gift for the family travelers among all of us.

Mad about Mad Libs

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Big Girl. Wrapped up in a game.

Big Girl. Wrapped up in a game.

It was big news around these parts earlier today when our grammar-loving 6-year-old discovered Mad Libs for the first time. Not surprisingly, the kid is now obsessed.

Because Mad Libs are so portable, this means our next family road trip just got a ton more fun. Now, instead of singing along to Ellie Goulding or telling progressive stories the whole drive, we can mix it up with a little Mad Libs action.

In other words, Powerwoman and I just got a whole new way to advance L’s love of literacy.

Already the discovery is paying huge dividends. Before this afternoon (when we came home from a trip to the toy store with two new pads of Mad Libs), the soon-to-be-First-Grader only had a general understanding of adverbs; now she can provide them without a moment’s hesitation. Before today, she couldn’t differentiate between a noun and NOW (as in, “I want it NOW”); now she points to random stuff on the street and calls out, “noun” in celebration of knowing the part of speech.

Oh, and for the record, the one time (to this very moment) we’ve used Mad Libs in the car, the activity made the 20-minute drive on the freeway feel like a five-minute jaunt down the street.

Perhaps the only unresolved issue at this point is how long it will take L (and her sister, for that matter) to discover the fun and wonder and silliness of submitting potty words instead of actual nouns and verbs and adjectives.

Some friends predict this de-evolution will happen within weeks. I’m holding out for age 7. At least.

What are some of your favorite road trip games when traveling with family?

San Juan Islands family travel recap

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Sisters. Eagle Cove. Beachcombing.

Sisters. Eagle Cove. Beachcombing.

If you’ve been reading this blog over the last few weeks, you undoubtedly already have read all about our family trip to the San Juan Islands. Now, however, there’s a place where you can read a recap of the entire adventure IN ONE POST.

The spot: The Expedia Viewfinder blog from Expedia (a client). The post: This piece, titled “Summer in the San Juans.”

My story, which published earlier today, summarizes our time on the San Juan Islands in about 1,400 words. It includes details about our marine animal sightings, our beach time, the fun we had at Roche Harbor, and even our side-trip to Orcas Island. It also chronicles some behind-the-scenes color from the downtime we spent as a family at the incredible house we rented.

I am especially proud of the photos that accompany the piece; I took hundreds of shots during our two weeks on the island, and was delighted to be able to publish a few of them somewhere other than Instagram.

(If you’re not currently following me on Instagram, by the way, you should.)

Even if you think you’ve read everything about our trip, I encourage you to take the time to give this story a read as well. Thanks in advance for the support.

Lessons from Maine: Don’t be an asshole family traveler

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Good for you, Marcy's.

Good for you, Marcy’s.

By now you probably have read about the diner owner in Portland, Maine, who screamed at a mom and dad for not quieting their crying toddler while the family dined in her restaurant this past weekend. You might have read some high-level etiquette theory about who was right, who was wrong, and what might prompt someone to go berserk under these circumstances. Maybe you even read the mother’s response.

My take: Though the restaurant owner seems like a bit of a loose cannon, the parents in question also behaved badly, and as parents, we really shouldn’t be assholes when we are dining with our kids away from home.

You read that right, folks. I’m saying I support the rabid restaurateur.

Could the restaurant owner have been a bit less crass in her tirade? Of course. Am I cool with the fact that the restaurant owner directed some of her vituperation at the 21-month-old herself? Not at all. Generally speaking, however, I think the diner gal was totally right for going off on these negligent parents, and think the vacationing parents were totally in the wrong.

I mean, the facts almost speak for themselves. The child screamed incessantly FOR 40 MINUTES and the parents didn’t even try to take the kid outside. The owner gave the family to-go boxes and asked them to take off. It was at that point, with the kid still crying, the owner went Andrew Dice Clay.

(UPDATE: Some reports suggest the child cried for only FOUR minutes. To me, the duration of the episode is irrelevant; after about 30 seconds of crying the parents should have had the kid outside.)

What’s more, the mom said she didn’t want to take her child outside because it was raining.

Again, I don’t condone cursing at kids. But I certainly understand the restaurateur’s frustration. Reports indicate there were more than 70 other diners in the restaurant at that time. Crying babies are loud. Other patrons were getting annoyed. Somebody had to do something.

So what if it was raining. Didn’t the family have a rental car? If so, that would have been a great enclosed and confined space in which the child could have cried it out. If not, surely there were awnings or vestibules of nearby businesses that would have proved worthy shelters to shield the shrieking child from the rain.

In short, I believe, the parents completely failed in their responsibilities as traveling parents who had taken a baby out to eat.

These duties aren’t complicated. They involve three basic rules: 1) Pay attention to your kid, 2) Try to keep your kid happy, and 3) Remove your kid from the situation if the kid can’t deal. According to eyewitness reports, these parents failed in each and every one of these cases.

When dining out with kids—whether you’re vacationing or not—it’s up to us traveling parents to make good choices and take responsibility for our children’s behavior, no matter what the circumstances. In this case, on that fateful Saturday in Maine, IMHO these particular parents acted like assholes and got what they deserved. Let the story be a lesson to all of us. Don’t be like these parents on your travels. Ever.

Travel memory: Learning to talk on Kauai

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Years later, our beach babe still loves the crashing surf.

Years later, our beach babe still loves the crashing surf.

A recent conversation with a friend about vacationing on Kauai (in Hawaii) reminded me of one of our first milestone family trips: A vacation in 2010 during which L spoke for the first time.

The three of us—R hadn’t even been conceived yet—stayed for a week in Poipu at the Villas at Poipu Kai, a wonderful property of furnished vacation rentals near Brennecke Beach. Those were the days before this blog; at the time I was keeping a different blog titled, The Daddy Dispatch (someday, I’ll re-publish those old posts). That said, this particular trip was of the unplugged variety; I happily didn’t write anything while we were there.

That didn’t stop important stuff from happening.

At the time L was about 13 months old, and she hadn’t said much more than, “Mom,” and “Dada.” We were just starting to wonder when she’d say her first real word. Then, one day, on the beach, it just came out: “A-gain! A-gain! A-gain!”

She was talking to the ocean, of course. The waves, specifically. She loved the way they came in and lapped at her tiny feet. She was ordering the ripples to continue.

Again and again, the kid screamed, “Again!”

At first, neither Powerwoman nor I knew quite how to react—we found ourselves somewhere between joy and did-she-really-just-say-that? After about 12 or so repetitions, we started cheering and crying and clapping and doing all the stuff that first-time parents do at a milestone of this nature. “Again” became the theme of the trip; everywhere we went, we did things two or three times, just so we could hear our first child ask us to do them again.

Looking back on that day, travel is an integral part of this cherished memory. Would we remember the accomplishment if L had said, “Again!” here at home? Of course. But the fact that she said it there in Hawaii, commanding the cerulean sea, makes everything about the experience more vivid.

That vibrancy, that extra detail, makes the memory even more special. That we experienced it on a family trip adds panache to an incident we’ll treasure for the rest of our lives.

What developmental milestones have your kids achieved while traveling?

4 reasons we love Cavallo Point

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The view from our room at Cavallo Point.

The view from our room at Cavallo Point.

Because those three weeks in the Pacific Northwest simply weren’t enough, we’re spending the night tonight at Cavallo Point, the Lodge at the Golden Gate.

In case you don’t know it, the lodge is an old fort—named, coincidentally, Cavallo Point—that was renovated back in 2007 into a luxury resort. The place has 142 rooms in all, and the company that owns it is the same company that owns Post Ranch Inn, one of the swankiest resorts in all of California.

With this in mind, it’s no wonder we never want to leave. Here are the things we like best so far:

The room

Renovations to the property turned some old officers’ quarters into new hotel rooms. There are about 70 of these “historic” rooms. To double the size of the resort, owners also built 70 new (they call them, “contemporary”) rooms in 11 standalone buildings. Our room is one of the latter types. On the first floor.

Without question, the best thing about the room is the view—we have an unobstructed view of the Golden Gate Bridge. Little R, who loves the bridge, has been literally staring and smiling at it since we checked in.

The rest of the room is above average. Features are modern and sleek; because the new buildings are LEED-certified, I believe most of the furniture and built-in work is made from recycled bamboo. The bathroom is tremendous and has a deep tub which I’m sure the girls will love. There also is a mini fridge in the room—always a bonus when you bring your own snacks like we do.

The red-carpet treatment for kids

Shortly after we checked in, a bellman knocked on our door with a gift from the concierge. The gift was for the girls. Inside this bag were two coloring books, two sets of crayons, two jump ropes, two chocolate lollipops, and two sticker sheets. I wandered down to the front desk about an hour after the present arrived and asked the concierge if we received the bag because she knew I was a journalist. She explained that every kid who checks in gets a similar set of goodies.

The bar

In addition to room service, the resort has two dining options: Willow Circle, a restaurant, and Farley Bar. At night Willow Circle can be a bit formal and stuffy, so tonight we chose to dine with the girls at Farley Bar.

Original tin ceilings, a built-in wooden bar, roaring fireplaces, and period lighting fixtures set the scene here and made Powerwoman and me feel like we had stepped back in time. Our server, who seated us in a corner booth near a fireplace and indulged the girls by calling them princesses, made us feel like we were the only patrons of the night (trust me, we were not).

The Farley menu was limited—I mean, it *is* a bar—but reliable and good.

The kids’ meals, grilled cheese and chicken strips, came with berries and were $9 apiece, and our server brought them each Arnold Palmers the way they like ‘em, with no ice. Powerwoman ordered a bit of an eclectic meal: soup and macaroni and cheese. My burger was spot-on.

Perhaps most important, we were comfortable. Sometimes dining with kids in a hotel bar can be riddled with dirty glances and uncomfortable feelings. At Farley, we fit right in. In fact, while the kids were enjoying ice cream sundaes for dessert, I looked around and noticed four other families dining in the bar. The takeaway: Families and the Farley coexist nicely, which makes it a place to try.

The parade grounds

Yes, the view from just about anywhere at Cavallo Point is amazing—depending on the angle, you can see both spires of the Golden Gate Bridge, as well as Alcatraz, the San Francisco Bay, and more.

Still, we liked the Parade Grounds even more. This is the giant open space between the officers’ quarters on the main lawn. Years ago, when the area was an operational fort, the men stationed here would use the greenspace to train, play baseball, hold parades, and more. Because the property has such a colorful past, the name stuck.

Before dinner, L met some other kids climbing a giant old conifer across from the main entrance to the resort. After dinner, L and R ran laps around a flagpole in the very center of the green—a flagpole I’m sure has been there for at least 50 years.

While the girls were running, Powerwoman and I sat on the steps to the bar, drinks in hand, watching from afar. We liked knowing that the girls were safe, that we could just let them run without fear of them being hit by a car or a golf ball. The girls certainly liked it, too—R, after running a grand total of 12 laps, declared she wanted a Parade Grounds at our house. (We’re working on that.)

Of course we also love the hotel’s proximity to the Bay Area Discovery Museum, a fantastic children’s museum in more former fort structures right near the Bay. Our plan is to spend most of the day tomorrow down at the museum. Unlike previous visits there, which have started with a 75-minute drive from home, this time we’ll be able to stroll down in five minutes or less. That’s the kind of commute I could get used to.

More tips for road trips with kids

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Sleeping beauties. In the car.
Sleeping beauties. In the car.

We take a ton of road trips in this family, and I’m always eager to share some of my tips and lessons learned with the masses. Case in point: My latest piece for the Expedia Viewfinder blog from Expedia, which outlines five can’t-miss tips for road-tripping with kids.

The post was inspired by our recent road trip from Portland, Oregon, to the San Juan Islands, and back down to Seattle. All five of the tips relate directly to the experiences we had on the trip.

At least two of the suggestions echo some of the pointers I laid out in an interview with Juliana Shallcross of Trips + Giggles earlier this month. The other three are brand spanking new, and feature anecdotes that I’ve never shared anywhere else. (Gotta keep you regular readers on your toes, you know.)

We certainly will be calling upon some of our own suggestions again later this month, as we’ll be road-tripping down to the Golden Gate National Recreation Area to report another family travel piece.

(There also is a potential road-trip to LEGOLAND California in the works; stay tuned for details on that.)

We even are open to new road-trip tips; if you’ve got advice to share, please feel free to do so in the comment section below. And in case you missed the link the first time, check out my Expedia Viewfinder piece about road-trip tips here.

The world’s biggest ball pit, for kids and grownups alike

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The Beach, courtesy of Smithsonian.com.

The Beach, courtesy of Smithsonian.com.

In case you missed the news while you were celebrating Independence Day, the world’s biggest ball pit opened July 4 in our nation’s capital, and it looks like a kick-ass spot for kids and grownups alike.

The 10,000-square-foot pit, dubbed, “The Beach,” actually is an exhibit in the atrium of the National Building Museum in Washington, D.C. The exhibit, from a firm named Snarkitecture, is designed to bring a summer staple for many suburban and rural residents into the Big City. It runs through Sept. 7.

Technically, the pit comprises about 1 million clear plastic balls. In a nod to the totally neurotic among us (that’d be me!), the balls are made of recyclable and antimicrobial plastic, which basically means museum personnel does NOT have to get in there with Clorox wipes and clean the balls every night.

(The whole cleanliness factor was a major issue for me when L went to our local MyGym.)

According to an article on Smithsonian magazine’s website, there are three different ways for visitors to experience the family-friendly attraction. First (of course) they can jump in. Second, they can relax on lounge chairs on the “shoreline,” or edges of the pit. Finally, they can sit near a snack bar and watch from afar.

Apparently, the ball pit is open until 9 p.m. every night. Later this summer, the National Building Museum will host a number of scavenger hunts, live music, tours, and games. An article in The Washington Post said there even might be volleyball.

Certainly sounds like a great family travel destination to me. See you there?