the only way for to manage as a dad has been to take his wife and two daughters with him. With this blog, Matt shares some of the insights he’s gleaned along the way, as well as tips, tricks, reviews and other fun stories.

‘Smartening Up’ the Family Trip

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One great poet; one great vacation

One great poet; one great vacation

It would have been easy for us to play off last week’s trip to Grasmere, in England’s Lake District, as an extended goodie run.

After all, one of the reasons we traveled there from our vacation rental outside of Penrith was to visit the Grasmere Gingerbread Shop, a tiny little bakery that has used the same recipe for the better part of the last 200 years.

But the town also is the final resting place of poet William Wordsworth, and both Powerwoman and I really wanted to pay respects and see his grave. So we did what any travel- and poetry-obsessed set of parents would do: We whipped out the Wordsworth in an attempt to get the girls excited for our true modus operandi.

At first, they resisted. Then, following a reading (parts) of “Lines Written a Few Miles Above Tintern Abbey” and some of the “Lucy Poems” (including “Strange fits of passion I have known”), they softened a bit, and actually started having fun.

By the time we actually made it to downtown Grasmere, both kids had been exposed to a healthy dose of Romanticism (I’m talking about the approach to poetry, not the notion of Mom and Dad being all lovey-dovey). And they thoroughly got into it.

As we walked through the cemetery toward Wordsworth’s grave, L whipped off some poems of her own, referring to herself as “Tennyson,” another poet we mentioned during the lesson.

R, of course, mimicked her sister, celebrating her accomplishments by chanting the word, “poem.”

For the rest of the trip (three more days at that point), the girls created dozens of their own poems—engaging in a sort of toddler rap. Every time they came up with one they liked, they mentioned Wordsworth and other poets about whom we had taught them. Some of the biggest winners were recited 40 or 50 times.

We certainly didn’t expect the trip to become such a celebration of words; we were just sharing some history.

Still, for us, the lesson was simple: Even if you think the kids might be “too young” for something, you never know when new information might strike their fancy, when a little knowledge might take them a long way. Powerwoman and I liken this to “smartening up” a vacation. In our experience, it can enhance even the quickest and seemingly boring vacations.

Sure, there’s a chance this new information will go straight over their heads. But by not sharing it, you risk the kids learning less about the new experiences they have. And in our family, that simply isn’t a risk we wish to take.

What sorts of knowledge/information do you attempt to pass down to your kids while traveling?

If Pants Could Talk

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Moments before the "Rose Incident"

Moments before the “Rose Incident”

Hey, you two little twerps, now you listen here:

We might be old. And we might be made of corduroy, one of the most durable materials in recent history. But we are tired—TIRED, we say!—of the way you two treat us when the Villanos hit the road as a family.

I know what you’re thinking, kids. YOU’RE the daughters and we’re the pants. You’re sentient; we are not. You’ve got hearts, brains, free will and all sorts of organs, while we consist of nothing more than fabric, thread, some zippers and a pocket or two. Well, we might be simple, but here’s a news flash for you: WE HAVE FEELINGS, TOO.

L, this means we’re tired of you spilling your milk all over us. Three times in the last three weeks, you’ve failed to grab your cup with two hands and carelessly knocked it over onto us. Sure, you’ve been stoked when you’ve realized the spills haven’t ruined the precious pictures you have colored during meals.

But, princess, those spills have gotten us SOAKED.

R, you are more of a solid-spiller. Mushy lemon cake, yogurt, cheesy (scrambled) eggs and tomato guts from Mommy’s salad are among the items you’ve dropped on us over the last few weeks. Then, of course, there was the incident earlier today, when, aboard a train (from England’s Lake District back to London), you knocked over a whole glass of rose wine onto our crotch.

The rose was the last straw. Especially considering how the wine seeped down the crotch and around the back, making it look as if your father had wet AND soiled his pants, we had to take a stand.

Which is precisely why we’re writing this note.

For whatever reason (perhaps it’s our good looks? Or maybe our versatility?), your father likes wearing us on travel days. He counts on us. And if you girls keep dumping and spilling stuff on us, he might opt for another pair. Because the one thing we don’t do is dry quickly.

And so, kids, we are begging you: SHOW US SOME RESPECT! We’re not rags! We’re pants, and your daddy’s favorite pair at that. We look forward to having the opportunities to ride horses in the Sahara, watch whales in the South Pacific and circumambulate Manhattan Island. Please don’t spoil our chances by ruining us first.

Sincerely,
Dad’s green cords

How to Find Amazing Family-Friendly Vacation Rentals

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Our backyard at Riverain, in England's Lake District.

Our backyard at Riverain, in England’s Lake District.

We’re near the end of an epic week in England’s Lake District. A big part of what has made this visit unforgettable: Where we’re staying.

On paper, we’ve rented a 3-bedroom “cottage” in the tiny town of Blencowe, about five miles outside of Penrith, on the northern edge of Lake District National Park. In reality, however, we are staying in part of a restored and renovated circa-1700 carriage house, one of the structures that flanks a castle-like manor house that dates back to the 1500s itself.

Our rental has heated floors, an incredible wood-burning fireplace and those tiny windows that you find in pretty much all castles and stone buildings from hundreds of years ago. On the grounds: A rushing stream, hundreds of sheep and acres upon acres of rolling hills.

Did I mention the place is costing us less than $225 per night?

In celebration of our find, Powerwoman and I put our heads together last night and came up with a list of tips for how to find killer family-friendly vacation rentals. Here are the highlights.

Tip 1: Book with Experts
In today’s age, many family travelers book on AirBnB and call it a night. If you’re lucky, the place is nice. The problem, of course, is that you might not be so lucky. Instead of winging it, we almost always opt for a vacation rental service. These services require property owners to keep places to a high standard of quality. They also are more than willing to help out if something goes wrong. For this trip—and for other trips to rural England—we used Rural Retreats, which is based in the Cotswolds. When we went to Ireland earlier this year, we went with Elegant Ireland. OneFineStay is another service about which I’ve heard great things.

Tip 2: Confirm there’ll be kid-friendly stuff
Some rental entities prattle on about how their properties are “kid-friendly.” What this means, however, can vary widely depending on where you go. We always like to call or email in advance and make sure the place we’re going has access to a) a crib b) stair gates and c) a high chair. If the place doesn’t offer this stuff—or if they can’t guarantee they’ll get it for us—we look elsewhere.

Tip 3: Follow the hampers
It’s standard operating procedure among the best vacation rental services to provide visitors with food hampers to supplement grocery items they’ll buy for the duration of their stay. The worst of these baskets amount to nothing more than snacks. The best of them provide the ingredients for multiple meals. In our experiences, baskets from Rural Retreats have supplied us with ingredients for the first dinner in the house, as well as a number of days of snacking. The best basket we’ve ever had: The one from Elegant Ireland, which contained freshly-baked bread, and all of the ingredients for multiple Irish breakfasts.

Tip 4: Go off-peak
Busy times at most vacation rentals are like busy times at hotels—if you’re able to find availability, the price points likely are astronomical. Instead, try building your vacation around off-peak times. Over the years (especially in Hawaii), we have saved big bucks scheduling trips around only one weekend instead of two. Another strategy we’ve used: Traveling from Tuesday or Wednesday to the following Tuesday or Wednesday (this was how we rolled this time around). Time of year is huge, too: Check websites for peak seasons, then book around them. Finally, be open to sacrificing location; a few miles away from the tourist hotspots could save you hundreds—if not thousands—down the road.

What are your secrets for finding great family-friendly vacation rentals?

Like a Virgin

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Little R, loved every minute on the high-speed train.

Little R, loved every minute on the high-speed train.

We’ve relocated to Northern England for the better part of the next week. Some of the items on the agenda for the coming days include hiking, reconnecting with (some of my wife’s distant) relatives, and baaaa-ing at the sheep in the pasture out our door.

Of course our girls also will spend significant amounts of time talking (and, undoubtedly, drawing) about how we actually got here: One of the high-speed trains up from London.

We took the ride with Virgin Trains, from Euston Station up to Penrith, a city in the heart of England’s Lake District. Because we sat in First Class, we had reserved seats, a table, all-you-can-eat food (including a stellar breakfast service), and porter help with the bags. Because it’s Virgin, the girls also received “Kids Bags”—backpack-sized satchels full of games and puzzles to do while we were en route.

To say the girls made the most of the experience would be an understatement.

R was the bigger fan; she spent at least 90 minutes of the 3-hour trip peering out the window or asking about Thomas the Tank Engine (a natural association, given our activity).  L liked the train too, but was scared a bit by the rocking.

(Overall, we managed to survive just fine until about ten minutes before departure, when R threw a tantrum and knocked a full cup of tea into my crotch, and L threw a tantrum just go be like her sister.)

Still, the verdict is that train travel trumps airplane travel because a) you can walk around as much as you’d like during your ride b) you can look out the window and see more than simply clouds, and c) first class is something average families actually can afford (it cost us a grand total of about $300 for all four of us, round-trip).

Don’t get me wrong, traveling by train isn’t perfect.

In Europe, where railroads can go up to 125 mph, motion sickness can be a real issue; L felt sick pretty much every time she looked out the window. In the U.S., where we (inexcusably) lack the same sort of high-speed rail they have here, train travel can take a while.

From our perspective, after two consecutive excursions from London involving train travel, the rails provide a nice alternative to airplanes.

Beside, trips are always better when the getting-there is part of the fun.

From the perspective of a family traveler, what do you like best about train travel?

Lessons from a Travel Etiquette Survey

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What's worse at 30,000 feet: These, or bad parenting?

What’s worse at 30,000 feet: These, or bad parenting?

It’s no secret that I think most airlines could improve the way they treat family travelers. Still, some of the findings of a recent study published by Expedia (in the interest of full disclosure, a client) and Northstar have me bummed out.

This data, part of the 2013 Airplane Travel Etiquette Study, indicates that “inattentive parents” are the most offensive airplane etiquette violators in the skies today. A whopping 41 percent of 1,001 survey respondents tabbed slothful parents for the top spot. (Other offenders in the Top 5: rear-seat kickers, smelly passengers, drunkards and chatty Cathies.)

Do I agree that inattentive parents are a scourge in the skies? I do. But I also know that not all traveling parents are inattentive. The fact that these parents annoy other travelers SO MUCH puts the rest of us moms and dads in a bad spot. It makes us guilty by association—just because we fly with kids.

There’s a bigger problem here, too—the notion that lousy parents are THE WORST of the etiquette offenders.

Under-supervised kids are annoying in any setting, don’t get me wrong. But are they more annoying than rude grown-ups? Or sloppy drunks? Or people who won’t shut the heck up? Or people who clip their toenails in mid-flight? Or armrest hogs?

It concerns me that people think not. And it has me thinking about ways to change public perception.

One obvious solution is to call for parents to stop failing as parents when they board a plane. Another solution: To get fellow passengers to be more understanding with those of us who travel with our kids. Perhaps some sort of public awareness program could help; material about “practicing patience,” or something like that. (Seriously, y’all, who’s with me here?)

Of course I think the biggest change can come from the airlines themselves.

If these companies actually would enact policies that benefit family travelers instead of policies that alienate us, maybe thinking would change. If airlines would add perks for family travelers instead of taking perks away (man, I miss pre-boarding), maybe people would realize we are just like they.

At the end of the day, observing proper etiquette comes down to obeying a simple code of behavior. The best place to change perception in relation to this behavior is at the top.

4 Family-Friendly Aspects of Life in London

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R, at a London coffee shop, with some house toys.

R, at a London restaurant, with some house toys.

We’re nearing the end of our time here in London (we leave Dec. 23; I can’t believe it either), and I’ve spent the last few days reflecting on some of the most family-friendly aspects of life here.

Yes, I know the health care is free and higher education is dirt cheap (especially for residents). But I’m not talking about that kind of stuff. I’m talking about the family-friendly aspects of life that make visiting this great city with kids easy. Here, in no particular order, are my faves of the faves.

The playgrounds are awesome.
I’ve chronicled the awesomeness of the playgrounds here before, and I’ll do it again and again (probably until I sell a story about it to a major glossy newsstand magazine). Play areas are well-kept. Play structures are new. Ground surfaces are soft so kids don’t get badly hurt when they fall. And each playground boasts activities we simply don’t see at home: the Diana Princess of Wales Memorial Playground in Hyde Park has a pirate ship kids can play inside, while the one at St. Stephen’s Church Garden has a zipline. Of course my favorite aspect of London playgrounds is that many of them have on-site cafes. This means we moms and dads are never too far from a hot black Americano.

Coffee shops give kids free stuff.
Did somebody say coffee? One of my other favorite things about London is that almost every coffee shop in this fair city treats kids like royalty. So long as the grown-ups in your party buy drinks, the kids in your party receive a free drink of their choice. Most places—Pret a Manger and Caffe Nero among them—offer something called “babyccinos,” essentially warm milk with a splash of cocoa. Other places will go so far as to make the little ones pint-sized decaf cappuccinos. When I’m out and about with L and R, I usually opt for simplicity, and just request child-sized take away cups of cold milk. Whatever you order, these freebies are a nice touch.

Public transit treats parents with kids like rock stars.
The vibe toward families on buses and trains in other cities is simple: You’re on your own. Here, however, whenever I board the bus or the Tube with the girls, people are incredibly accommodating and eager to help. They give up their seats. They help carry the stroller up steps. They actually make eye contact with us, and they smile. Overall, I have found the bus system more child-friendly than the Tube; every bus has a separate area for buggies—a nice amenity, especially on those days when I’m schlepping all over town with both of my kids. (Of course when I’m traveling with only one of the girls, and I’ve left the buggy at home, double decker buses also offer the best attraction in town: Watching the city pass by from the front seats of the top level.)

Restaurants are prepared…and welcoming.
So what if kids aren’t allowed in most pubs after 7 p.m.? Most restaurants in this city are incredibly welcoming toward families with young kids, and just about all of them are prepared with kids’ menus and crayons or colored pencils to keep the little ones happy until their food comes. Heck, one of our favorite places in our neighborhood even has toys for kids to play with. Back in the U.S., I’m notorious for lugging a backpack full of paper and pencils everywhere, just to make sure we’re covered. Here, so many places have it covered that I’ve actually started leaving the art supplies at home. It’s nice to have one less thing to worry about. It’s also nice to know Powerwoman and I can count on enjoying at least a few moments of every restaurant meal in peace.

What sort of family-friendly features do you look for in a travel destination?

A Walk to Remember

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My Big Girl, drinking tea before the hike

My Big Girl, drinking tea before the hike.

My wife and I are avid hikers, and we’ve raised our girls to embrace the outdoors as well. Back in California, no day is complete without a tromp in the woods near our house. Here in London, though experiencing “woods” requires more of an effort, we get the girls out and about to breathe fresh air as much as we can.

This is one of the reasons why all four of us were so excited about spending Thanksgiving in the country (at Four Seasons Hampshire). It’s also why I didn’t bat an eye when L requested a hike after sundown one evening last weekend.

Our goal for the evening journey was simple: Hike well-marked pathways as far as we could in 30 minutes, then turn around, return to the resort and have hot chocolates in the library bar.

To guide the way, L took her ladybug flashlight; I bugged the concierge for a “torch” (that’s what they call flashlights here) of my own.

The walk started quietly; as her eyes adjusted to the darkness, L was focusing intensely on watching her steps.

Once we were startled by a braying horse, however, the mood lightened considerably. We quizzed each other on whether certain twinkles were airplanes or satellites or stars. We reminisced about our favorite parts of the day we spent in nearby Farnham (hers: Watching Christmas carolers; mine: Lunching in a 500-year-old pub). We even shared our favorite stories about the Baby, a.k.a., her little sister.

After 30 minutes—probably 1.5 miles in all—we turned around as planned. With the manor house looming on the horizon, L realized we likely were the only people hiking in the field at that moment, so she shared a perfectly normal (for a 4-year-old) request:

“Dad, it won’t bother anybody else. Can we please listen to Taylor Swift?”

Normally I have a strong No-Artificial-Sounds-in-Nature rule. On this night, however, because we were the only people in the field (and, of course, because she asked so politely), I relented.

L was delighted. She skipped. She twirled. At one point, she screamed along with words I hope she doesn’t understand for a long while (I think the song was, “Dear John”). And about halfway back—I kid you not—we spotted fireworks exploding over the trees on the edge of the property.

In that moment, my daughter described the fireworks as “magical,” “unbelievable,” and “amazing.” We now have been home a week, and she still uses those same words when talking about the hike.

To be honest, I do, too.

Those 60 minutes were the best 60 minutes of my Thanksgiving, and arguably the best 60 minutes I’ve had in a long, long time. These are the moments we as parents live for.

Could we have had the same experience at home? Maybe something pretty close. But being in a faraway, foreign place enriches every aspect of moments like that one, and the richer those moments, the better.

Six Ingredients for a Truly Family-Friendly Resort

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chickens

These chickens provided entertainment, and eggs.

We’re three-quarters of the way through a Thanksgiving weekend visit to the Four Seasons Hampshire, a luxury resort about one hour southwest of London, in a town called Dogmersfield. To put it simply, this place is the most family-friendly luxury resort we’ve ever experienced, hands down.

What makes it so perfect for adults traveling with young kids? What sorts of stuff should other resorts incorporate into their family-friendly programs? Here, in no particular order, is a rundown.

  1. On-site playground. Yes, you read that right. This is a Four Seasons resort. AND IT HAS A PLAYGROUND. A new-ish one at that. With tunnels. And rock walls. And slides. And swings. Before this trip, we’ve spent portions of just about every vacation searching for play structures close to our respective hotels. At this place, we haven’t even have to think about finding a place to let the kids climb and jump – the playground is a short walk from just about any room at the property.
  2. Resort pet. A growing number of resorts have adopted dogs and/or cats as unofficial mascots, and this resort is one of the bunch. The Dog of the Hour here is a 2-year-old black lab named Oliver. He’s great with kids—he has let mine tug and pull on him and hasn’t really barked or gotten nervous like other doggies might. He also has a cushy doggie bed in the main lobby near the check-in desk, meaning it’s almost impossible to enter or leave the property without at least saying hello. (Also, out back, there are chickens. Lots of chickens.)
  3. Open space. This property comprises 500 acres. To put that in perspective, my family of four could be hiking for the entire time we’re slated to be here and we STILL wouldn’t or couldn’t cover all that space. To this point in the visit, we have taken full advantage of this resource. We’ve hiked (even at night). We’ve biked. We’ve just wandered. Some of the girls’ favorite places to visit have been the equestrian stables, the pond and the canal on the edge of the property. As I write this, they are itching to head out and feed some ducks.
  4. Kid-specific menus. When you’re a kid, grown-up food is boring. That’s why kid-specific menus, with items such as PB&J, penne pasta with butter, and grilled cheese sandwiches are such a hit among the pint-sized set. They have one of those kid-only menus here, and the girls are obsessed. Every meal off the kids’ menu has been served on a special tray with images of Oliver and other resort critters. An added bonus: At least at this resort, kids under the age of 5 eat free.
  5. Kids’ club. Despite what people might tell you, some kids’ clubs definitively are better than others. In the one at Hampshire (named Kids for all Seasons), Powerwoman and I were able to linger and watch as L and R painted and made Christmas ornaments with a special bead set. The teachers were kind, friendly and (most important) patient. We didn’t take advantage of the facility as a childcare option, but I’m sure the kids’ club is a great place to drop the kids for a few hours while you get in a workout or a spa treatment, too. (It also likely is a good option for distracting the kids while Mom and Dad take care of some other business.)
  6. Stuff to make kids feel special. When we checked in on Thursday, the girls got to pick presents out of a treasure chest. When we got to the room, there was a special amenity (in this case, cake pops) waiting for them (literally) with their names on it. These are the kinds of tiny steps that go a long way to making kids feel like rock-stars in a fancy place. Two other treats I have loved seeing here at the resort: kid-sized robes and kid-sized slippers.

There have been other amenities that have made this place great for youngsters: Kid-friendly silverware, child-oriented activities (such as egg-harvesting from that on-site chicken coop), a reliable babysitting service, and eco-conscious soaps and shampoos designed specifically for use in the tub. None of these made my Top 6, but, together, they are perks that have not gone unnoticed.

Next time you’re traveling with the kids, demand this kind of excellence from your resort. If Four Seasons can offer these types of kid-friendly extras, anyone can. And they enhance the experience for everyone involved.

What are some of the most family-friendly resort amenities you’ve experienced over the years?

A Family Travel Moment to Remember

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So many dresses, so little time.

So many dresses, so little time.

I’ve always been a big believer that travel is nothing more than a series of moments in time. A select few of the moments are special and worth remembering; (most) others fade into oblivion.

When we travel individually, we relish these moments solo. When we travel with kids, however, two things happen: 1) we share the moments with them, and 2) we lay the important groundwork for our children to have moments of their own.

This is why I loved our trip to Mystical Fairies here in London this week.

Sure, the fairy-themed store in Hampstead had hundreds (literally, HUNDREDS) of fairy dresses for girls the age of my girls. And, yes, the place also sold wands and crystals and wings and pixie dust and amazing books and all sorts of other items that you would want if you were between the ages of 2 and, say, 9 and really liked fairies.

Heck, I even bought each daughter the dress of her choice (each girl was allowed to select one thing in the 30 minutes we spent inside).

But, really, the best part of the visit was the (pardon the pun, people) magic of simply being there, of seeing their faces light up with a glorious mixture of disbelief and delight when we walked through the door.

They vocalized these feelings well. At one point during our visit, L interrupted a staring contest with the wall of dresses to proclaim, “Daddy, this is the best store in the history of stores.” R followed suit shortly after she picked out her dress (a purple number with wings and butterflies all over it: “Daddy, I feel like a real fairy!”

As if it wasn’t clear enough in the moment, I knew we had struck family travel gold when the girls insisted on donning their dresses the very moment we got home. And again the next day. All day.

At some point in the future, both girls will outgrow their dresses and the dresses likely will end up as hand-me-downs or contributions to the local Goodwill. The girls, too, will move on—to sports or boys or nail art or whatever. One thing we’ll never lose is the moment, that special memory of that special time at that incredibly special place. For that, as a parent and a traveler, I am eternally grateful.

How do you commemorate and/or celebrate your favorite travel moments?

Great Family Travel Book by a Good Friend

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Trust me: This book kicks ass.

Trust me: This book kicks ass.

I don’t have a monopoly on great family travel tips; one of the best things about covering this subject is that I am part of a cadre of fellow writers who have helpful tips and do an expert job communicating them on a consistent basis.

One of my faves: Mara Gorman, she of the Mother of all Trips blog.

Mara has been doing the whole family travel thing way longer than I have; her kids are more than twice as old as mine. She was writing about being in London before we even knew we were coming here. Her blog is, IMHO, one of the very best examples of what a blog should be—it’s informative, insightful and, most important, fun.

Naturally, then, when I learned Mara was writing a family travel book, I couldn’t wait to read it. That book, The Family Traveler’s Handbook, came out last month. I can’t recommend it highly enough.

In the interest of full disclosure, I should note that Mara quotes me in the book. I also gave her a quote for the back jacket. But I wouldn’t have participated in the project or commented on the project if I wasn’t certain it would kick ass. And it does. Majorly.

Some of her advice is practical. Some of it is logistical. Some it comes across as common sense. And it’s all great.

Perhaps the best part of the book: It’s not too long. When I reviewed it a few months back, I was able to read the thing in one night. For busy parents leading busy lives, that’s a good thing. But don’t take my word for it. Check out Mara’s site, read a sample of the book for yourself, then buy a copy at Amazon. You can thank me for the suggestion anytime.