Tag Archive for: vacation with kids

Meeting a baby giraffe at Safari West

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Big Girls meet Kopi.

Big Girls meet Kopi.

We’re lucky enough to have a world-class animal park—Safari West, for those of you scoring at home—in our proverbial backyard (it’s about 20 minutes away). So when my friends over there heard we recently welcomed a baby into our family, they invited me and L and R to come and meet some of THEIR new babies—namely a baby giraffe and a baby Brahma cow.

We went down this past weekend, and the girls had a blast.

Nikki, one of the animal keepers, met us at the front gate with the baby cow (they’re called calves), and the girls treated her (the calf, not the human) like a puppy.

From there, Nikki led us back to the giraffe barn, where she let the girls feed some of the momma giraffes and ogle at the new baby. They became particularly fond of a hungry and curious long-neck named Kopi. (Related fun fact: the baby, who was less than 10 days old when we met him, was taller than most players in the NBA.)

We ended our visit checking out some of the skulls and skeletons from animals who have died at the park over the years. I thought my girls would find this part of the afternoon disgusting. To the contrary, I think it might have been their favorite part—especially when they started pretending to battle each other with the bones.

In the interest of full disclosure, we were able to have this experience because the folks at Safari West have become friends over the years; the giraffe barn is NOT something general members of the public get to experience on an average visit.

That said, Safari West is a wonderfully family-friendly spot here in Sonoma County, and is worth the trip on a Wine Country vacation.

My Big Girls always have loved the place. Now I think they love it even more.

Jim Gaffigan on traveling with five kids

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The challenges of traveling with multiple children are real. Powerwoman and I are reminded of this whenever we leave the house these days with L and R and (now) G in tow. But, really, we’ve got nothing on Jim Gaffigan.

The Gaffigans meet Rapunzel (from "The Jim Gaffigan Show" website).

The Gaffigans meet Rapunzel (from Gaffigan himself).

Yes, THAT Jim Gaffigan. The comedian. The guy who played my favorite role on the television show, “My Boys,” back in the day. The guy who made millions on the “Hot Pockets” skit.

You see, Gaffigan has five kids. And apparently, as we call can watch on his new reality show, “The Jim Gaffigan Show,” he and his wife take them on the road when Gaffigan is touring. Ostensibly to promote the show, Gaffigan opened up to Kelly DiNardo in a recent Q&A for The New York Times about the rigors and realities of traveling with a handful of offspring. If you read nothing else about family travel today, you should read this piece.

Why did I love the story? For starters, it’s funny, just like Gaffigan. Example: “Traveling with 3- and 4-year-old boys is like transferring serial killers from a prison. You have to be constantly aware.”

The piece also offers some really useful tips. Like the part where Gaffigan says he makes his older kids write a single-page diary entry about every city they visit. (I’m *totally* trying that with L.) Or the part where the comedian admits that his kids—like all kids—struggle on international flights.

But my absolute favorite snip from the piece is where Gaffigan defends international family travel. His perspective: “There’s this perception that with international travel it’s not worth it because [kids] don’t get it. I think they do. And I think they see their parents behave differently in different cultures. My kids are pretty good travelers. I think they’re more sturdy because of it, more resilient.”

All told, the piece will take you five minutes to read. Check it out.

Embracing the art of surrender

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Surrendering to these two and their sister.

Surrendering to these two and their sister.

It’s been about two weeks since Baby G was born, and everyone keeps asking me how Powerwoman and I are adjusting to life as the parents of three. The short answer is: We’re getting there. The long answer is a bit more raw: Holy shit, you guys, this transition is f-ing hard.

How else to explain this crazy phenomenon of now being responsible for THREE little humans instead of two?

First have been the logistical challenges. Another child means a third set of needs we parents need to meet. It also means that Powerwoman and I must establish a brand new rhythm and cadence to parenting; we had become really good at balancing two, now there’s another kid in that mix. (Some people call this “zone defense” instead of “man-to-man defense,” but I find that analogy sexist and downright lame.)

Then there have been the intangible challenges. The typical hormonal stuff (for both mom and dad) that comes with postpartum life. The emotional challenges of two big sisters working out their own feelings about sharing attention.

Finally there have been the work challenges. While Powerwoman is on maternity leave through April 1, I’m essentially back to a full work schedule. Or at least I should be.

(I work at night, so it’s actually been a blessing to have one parent awake to deal with Baby G in the wee hours. That said, it is hard to focus on writing when you’re sharing an 85-square-foot office with an adorable and wide-awake baby.)

I’d describe my state of mind most times as OVERWHELMED. And I’m not ashamed of saying it.

I had spent the better part of this week feeling stressed about the situation. That’s when I ran into a neighbor who doubles as a Zen master (seriously) and is expecting *his* third child next year.

This neighbor shared with me some philosophy one of his friends told him. In a nutshell, the philosophy revolves around the notion of surrendering to the situation and letting go. According to this line of reasoning, there’s no way to change the amount of logistical and emotional demands afoot in our family right now, so instead of fighting them, I simply need to give in to them, to surrender.

Trust me, it’s not easy to do this—especially not when all three kids are crying at once or an editor is harassing me to file that story that was due three days ago. But the philosophy of “surrender” truly works wonders; when I remind myself to let go, I feel less stressed and barely overwhelmed at all.

Sometimes, in very high-pressure situations, I’ll even say it out loud to myself, just as a reminder to chill.

The best thing about the philosophy of “surrender” is that it applies to just about everything in life. Parenthood. Work. Social situations. Everything.

In the world of travel, the lesson is that every family traveler could stand to surrender a little more in his or her adventures on the road. We all get worked up—about delays, cranky kids, hotel sleeping situations. Surrendering to those of these things you can’t control can help make them seem less daunting/irritating/vexing.

I’m still learning how to surrender. But embracing this perspective as I approach my new life as a father of three sure has made it easier. The friend of my friend is totally right: The more we surrender, the better off we’ll all be.

A letter to our daughter

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G and me.

G and me.

Dear Baby G:

You’re here! Welcome to the world and, more important, to the all-girl band that is our family, or pod.

Your mother and sisters and I are so delighted you’ve arrived. Technically, Mom and I waited nine months for you. But really, we’ve been anticipating your arrival for almost as long as we’ve been married. Your mom is the youngest of three sisters. It’s a distinction she now shares with you.

People often say they “have no words” at momentous times like this. I’m a writer, so that’s never really the case with me. In the immediate future, I’m overjoyed to get to introduce another little human to this thing called life, to watch you marvel at the murmurations of starlings and pucker with disgust when you try pureed parsnip for the first time. I can’t wait for you to get to know your sisters—those crazy kids who keep poking and prodding at your cheeks and chin. I’m stoked to read to you and inspire in you a love of language and listening and cadence and literacy. Down the road, and really more than anything, Baby G, I’m overjoyed at the thought of showing you all of the varied places and people that live on our planet.

In our family, you see, travel is a way of being. Sure, we have a house and bedrooms and regular routines, but we also make sure that, as a family, we regularly experience life beyond the stuff we know best. Foreign places. Unfamiliar people. Unusual cultures. We’re open to it all. Your mom and I believe the mere act of exploring and learning about things that are different from what we know and love helps broaden our minds, widen our perspectives, and temper our judgment.

With this in mind, we always will strive to teach you girls to consider the larger world around us and lean on lessons from that world to make a difference closer to home.

You’ll hear people sum up this philosophy as, “Think globally; Act locally.” To some degree, that catchphrase is apt. Unfortunately, though, in today’s world, many people have become so obsessed with the big picture that they fail to see the changes they can make on a smaller scale. Just this week, another new dad, Mark Zuckerberg, penned a letter to his new daughter, and the note read more like a treatise on global change. I don’t fault this other dad for the sentiment behind his note—broad-sweeping issues such as advancing human potential and promoting equality are important, this dad has a ton of money, and he’s willing to give a lot of his money to make the world a better place. I just believe the secret to real change is focusing on the simpler stuff first.

And so, G, on the first day of your second week of life, I make of you five requests:

  1. Be present. Physically, mentally, AND emotionally, be in the moment, always. When friends and family need you, be there for them, both with listening ears and warm hugs. As you inevitably incorporate technology into your life, do not allow your Smartphone screen (or any other device, for that matter) come between you and the ones you love. Even if you’re upset or angry about something, never let those feelings prevent you from giving others what they need when they need it most.
  2. Be patient. Not everything in life goes the way you want it to go. In these moments of frustration and disillusionment, instead of losing your temper, instead of raising your voice, breathe deeply, “cool your heat” (as the therapists like to say), and give others another chance. If a friend of family member really screws up, forgive them, again and again and again. Always take the time to try and help others learn from their mistakes.
  3. Be kind. The way we treat others says a lot about how we love ourselves. With this in mind, I ask you to approach all interpersonal interactions with thoughtfulness and respect. When you don’t understand another person’s point of view, seek to discuss it with an open mind. When you meet someone different, do not judge that person on those differences, but instead on how he or she treats you and others. Even in the face of evil, remember that all humans deserve dignity.
  4. Be humble. Your mom and I will tell you a billion times how great we think you are. Don’t let it go to your head. Just because we think you’re amazing doesn’t mean others will feel the same way. Just because we’ll work to give you every opportunity under the sun doesn’t mean you’re entitled to the opportunities you receive. Constantly strive to be a better person. Work hard for everything you want. Take nothing for granted. Appreciate every chance to grow.
  5. Be curious. The world is a wonderfully eclectic place, and the only way you’re going to experience that diversity is if you seek it out. When you meet new people, ask questions. When you see new places, explore. When you have the opportunity dig deeper and learn more information about something—anything, really—read, then read, and read some more. Knowledge is the most precious gift in this life. You can never have too much.

Yes, Sweet Baby, in comparison to those macro issues such as advancing human potential and promoting equality, the concepts of being present, patient, kind, humble, and curious are small potatoes. But IMHO, in today’s world, the micro issues are even MORE important. Do them right and you’ll transform your world by the way you interact with others every day. Do them wrong and you’ll contribute negatively to some of the problems we’ve already got.

Someday, maybe you’ll have the financial resources and individual fortitude to take on some of the global issues like the ones that other dad mentioned in the note to his baby. Until then, this dad encourages you to love, give, tolerate, support, teach, help, nurture, and understand. These are my hopes for you and your generation, Baby G. In an era when parts of our world are brimming with hate, violence, and intolerance, we must start small and go from there. Your mom and I are excited to watch you on this journey, and will support you every step of the way.

Love,
Dad

The ultimate vehicle for family road trips

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Inside our van, during a rare moment sans kids.

Inside our van, during a rare moment sans kids.

My name is Matt Villano, and I drive a minivan. A Honda Odyssey, to be exact. And I’m proud of it.

I know what you’re thinking: WHAT A TOTAL LOSER. And you’re entitled to your opinion. The truth, however, is that I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU THINK. What’s more, I actually kinda sorta love my new wheels. So there.

No, dear readers, minivans aren’t pretty. They’re not cool. Even after Toyota tried to brand its version as the “Swagger Wagon,” they’re not even remotely stylish. But I never was a form-over-function kind of guy. Minivans actually are the ultimate in function-over-form. And when you’ve got a wife and three kids and you take a lot of road trips, all you ever really care about is function, anyway.

Let me repeat that for you, just to make sure there’s no miscommunication here: MY NEW MINIVAN IS AWESOME FOR FAMILY TRAVEL.

Allow me to count the ways:

  1. It came with seats for eight human beings. EIGHT HUMAN BEINGS. That means our family of five has room to spread out. Hell, I took out the center seat in the second row to let L access the back of the van more easily and there’s still room for seven. (ICYW, no, we are not having more kids.)
  2. It has SEVEN cup holders (nine if you include the two that were part of the seat I removed). This means there are plenty of places for Powerwoman and me to put our coffees/water bottles, and plenty of places for L and R to store their plastic gems and other treasures they collect along the way.
  3. It has three-zone climate control. This rules because I doze off behind the wheel if I’m too cold. With this feature, the girls can be all warm and toasty (at different temperatures, mind you), and I can be chilling (literally) behind the wheel.
  4. Even with the third row of seats, there is ample trunk space. This is good news for our family, since the girls like to take a bunch of crap stuff when we road-trip.
  5. It has cool back-up and side-view cameras. I don’t really use these things, but they are great tools to call into action when L and R are melting down or fighting (or both). You can almost picture how this goes. HEY KIDS, STOP YELLING AT EACH OTHER AND CHECK OUT HOW COOL THE SHOULDER LOOKS THROUGH THE SIDE-VIEW CAMERA! It actually works!

These five faves barely scratch the surface. Another reason I love the new van is because it reminds me of the first car I ever had—oddly that also was a minivan, though I removed all but the third row of seats so I could make out with girls in high school and college. (Definitely another story for a different blog.)

Admittedly, our new van isn’t for everyone. Most people likely would have sprung for the model with the built-in TV screens in the back; we, because of our stance on screen time, did not. Most people in the Bay Area probably would have opted to spend a little extra money for an oversized SUV (such as the Chevy Tahoe or Suburban) with four-wheel drive; we, because we only go to the mountains once a winter, did not.

(Also, if you care about things such as gas mileage, the van’s is pretty terrible.)

Still, this vehicle is PERFECT for family road trips, and we intend to take it on a bunch. Already, in the van’s short life with us (we’ve had it for fewer than 1,000 miles to this point), we’ve taken it to the beach (60 minutes away), the city (75 minutes away), and the remote country (90 minutes away). Next spring, we’ll take it to Yosemite. Next summer, it might even make the drive to Disneyland.

In National Lampoon’s Vacation, the Griswolds called their lovable station wagon the Family Truckster. I think we’ll start calling ours the Family Vanster, or F.V., for short. Make fun of us all you want. We’ll be laughing from our comfortable ride all the way home.

What are some of your favorite vehicles for family travel?

Introducing the newest member of the pod

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L and R meet Baby G.

L and R meet Baby G.

She’s here! She’s here! The newest member of our pod arrived Monday around 7:30 a.m., and we couldn’t be happier to welcome her into the gang. (I’m actually writing this post from the hospital.)

As you know if you’ve read this blog for a while, I don’t believe in publishing any identifying information about my kids on the Internet. I will, however, tell you this, the baby’s first name starts with the letter G, so here on these pages she’ll be known as Baby G.

Big sisters L and R are delighted to have another little human to boss around dote on. As for we grownups, Powerwoman and I are stoked about introducing another little one to the world. We’ve got a few trips on the horizon—some we both have been planning/tossing around for a while, others that will come as a surprise to some (more on that around Christmas time).

In other words, we’re stoked to get this baby home, watch her grow a bit, then get back out on the road.

With that in mind, consider yourselves warned: Over the next year or so I’ll be writing a number of posts that spotlight the challenges and wonders of traveling with a little one again. Some of the perspective will be a fresh take on the same old issues—diapers and swaddling and hotel cribs and lap children. The rest of it will be entirely new; after all, now we’re a Party of Five.

So stay tuned. Hopefully the adjustment period for you, dear readers, is easier than it undoubtedly will be for us. I promise we’ll keep it real.

Meet the mifold: a lighter, skinnier booster seat

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12342683_502931659867314_1059835188592128622_nAll of we traveling families have struggled with bulky car seats. Jon Sumroy recently devised an alternative: the mifold. This particular seat is designed to be so skinny and small that families can carry it everywhere—it actually fits inside your carry-on bags when you fly. In a few short months, the seat has generated quite a buzz—nearly $1 million in Kickstarter funding and a host of media coverage. I recently caught up with Sumroy to learn a little more about how the product came to market and what makes it unique.

Q: Thanks for taking the time to chat with Wandering Pod. First, talk about the design of mifold itself. What inspired it? What was the challenge you were hoping to solve?
A: In 2001, when my wife and I lived in New Jersey, we were part of a carpool for the usual school run.  Although we had booster seats for our own children, we did not have spares for the other kids we took to school. When the grandparents came to visit, we always had to transfer bulky boosters from one car to another. I thought, if I could make a booster seat that was very small and still safe, so a child could carry it all the time, my children could be safe no matter whose car they were in.  My idea for mifold was to do the exact opposite of how a regular booster seat functions; instead of lifting up the child, mifold holds the seatbelt down. Holding the lap belt down to fit securely on the bones of the hips and pulling the chest strap down to fit securely on the bones of the shoulder. It was that simple. If a booster did not need to lift a child up, it did not need to be big and bulky. The idea of mifold was born, and it became a compact and portable booster seat that was so small, it could be carried by a child and stored almost anywhere.

Q: Child seats on airplanes is a huge issue for traveling parents. What makes you think people are going to buy-in to mifold?
A. We do not make mifold for use on airplanes; at this stage mifold is a car seat and is not tested or regulated for use on airplanes.  Moving into the airplane market is part of our medium-term strategy, which we intend to pursue once we have established ourselves in the car market.

Q. What are the biggest benefits of this new tool? What do you perceive to be the biggest shortcomings/challenges?
A. The biggest benefits of mifold are that it has the potential to diminish the amount of children not properly restrained. Mifold eliminates those situations completely.  Carpooling, car rentals, traveling, grandparents, taxis—these are all the normal life routine things we do, and they all will benefit from mifold. With a compact and portable device, a child can easily keep one with them all the time and drivers can easily keep spares, without cluttering up a car and losing cabin or luggage space.  Children now can always be safe no matter whose car they are in. One of the biggest challenges that we are now going to be facing is educational. It is difficult for a person who has never seen mifold be able to understand that its function is to work as a regular backless booster seat.  Our focus now is to create a great packaging design and increase our marketing so general awareness on the product can be created.

Q. What’s the age range? How old can kids who use the mifold actually be? How young can they be?
A. Mifold is designed for children between 4-12 years old. However, car seat regulations can be quite confusing and are different in each country; they can be based upon age, weight, height or a combination of all three. In the United States, mifold is designed for children weighing from 40-120 pounds; in the EU, for children weighing from 15 kilograms to the height of 135 centimeters.

Q. To what extent does the seat connect with the LATCH system in cars?
A. As with regular booster seats that simply rest on the vehicle seat, mifold uses the factory installed adult seat belts to restrain the child.  All booster seats including mifold are designed to work without a latch system. There is no installation required with mifold, it is designed for ‘quick-in-quick-out’ usage for every journey in every type of vehicle.

Q. Beyond air and car travel, what are some other uses for this product?
A. As I’ve mentioned, carpooling is one of things that will benefit from mifold.  Parents usually have boosters for their own kids, but not for the extra [kids who] come along. mifold is so small, kids can keep one in the school bag.  It’s also great for taxi rides in big cities—very few of those have booster seats for kids. Mifold is so compact you can store on almost anywhere: glove compartment, door pocket, seat back, etc.

As of press time, the mifold retailed for $72. Unfortunately, the units are not available for purchase yet, so all orders are still considered pre-orders. Check it out!

Where we’ll travel in the next 40 years

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This guy is 40.

This guy is 40.

Saturday was my 40th birthday.

Forty. 40. The Big Four-Oh. I’ve been saying and writing it a lot lately, largely because I can’t believe I’ve been on this planet for 40 years. It seems like just yesterday I traveled with some high-school classmates to the first inauguration of then-President Bill Clinton (in 1992). I remember stuff before that, too—the first time I visited Cape Cod (in 1983), the first time I saw a whale in the wild (1981), and more.

You guys, I’m old.

When I’m not sitting here freaking out about receiving my AARP card, all this reflecting on the past has inspired me to think at least a bit about the places I’d like to travel with my family in the next 40 years. Here, then, in no particular order, are some of my picks.

  • Egypt. Powerwoman is an archaeologist, and considering my big girls both are obsessed with mummies and pyramids (largely because their mom is an archaeologist), we MUST go to Egypt as a clan. When we do, I’ll sit back and watch my bride teach her kids how to love antiquity. And it will rule.
  • India. Who WOULDN’T want to go to India? I’m not crazy enough to want to do it with the girls until they are MUCH older (at least teens). But I cannot wait to expose them to life on the subcontinent. Or the food (Indian food is among my faves). Or the Bhangra (I listen to it often when I’m working).
  • South Dakota. Good ol’ S.D. represents one of only four states I’ve never visited (the others are North Dakota, Tennessee and, oddly, Mississippi). It also happens to have two of the American treasures I most want to see: Mount Rushmore and the Badlands. Of all the items on my list, this is the most doable in the immediate future. Stay tuned.
  • Maine. I spent a bunch of summers of my childhood in New England, and none of my girls (including my wife) has ever been there to experience it for herself. At some point—preferably when the kids are still young—I want to take them there to show them the quiet beauty that is our northeasternmost state. (Also, I’ve got a dream to take them sailing on an old schooner.)
  • Italy. Nevermind that both my wife and I each are 50 percent Italian; I want to visit Italy with my family so the girls appreciate time-tested architecture, renaissance artwork, great food, and, of course, REAL GELATO. I’d also love to give the kids the chance to experience The Vatican.

Some people refer to these sorts of lists as “bucket lists.” I’m not a huge fan of that phrase and I dislike the concept of a list of stuff you do so you can say you did it before you croaked. Also, by no means is this list set in stone; I want my picks for places to visit to evolve organically over time.

For me, this list is a start for my next 40 years, a road map, if you will. What’s on yours?

Tips for holiday air travel with kids

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Enduring delays in mid-air.
Enduring delays in mid-air.

I dole out a ton of advice on this blog about traveling with kids. Sometimes, I like to spread the love. That explains my latest piece for the Expedia Viewfinder blog from Expedia—a story that lists five tips for holiday air travel with children. The piece went live earlier today.

The story culls advice and insight I’ve gleaned from six years as a family traveler. Some of the suggestions relate to ideas I’ve mentioned here before. Some of the suggestions are brand new.

The bottom line: We can’t just board a plane and expect our kids to entertain themselves.

Flying with kids at any of time of year requires effort on the part of us parents. Well during the holidays, when airplanes and airports are at their craziest and busiest, it’s even more important for us to stay cool, stay calm, be flexible and be ready to tackle any delay, cancelation, sickness or angry fellow passenger that comes our way.

My No. 1 tip (which you may have read previously in these pages): Bring art projects. Kids love making things at home, so why not put them in position to make the same sort of stuff at 35,000 feet? When we fly during holidays, I bring construction paper and Scotch tape so the kids can make paper chains. My job in the assembly line is to rip the paper into perfect rectangles; from there, L and R take turns making circles, taping circles and stringing the chains up around our seats.

Sometimes we leave the chains for the next passenger (or the cleaning crew). Other times we hand them to flight attendants, who love the thought. Whoever gets ‘em, the process usually kills at least 90 minutes. On a long flight—especially during holiday season—that’s practically a lifetime.

Get me a flying nanny

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Adra, courtesy of Yahoo Travel

Adra, courtesy of Yahoo Travel

When I win the World Series of Poker, I’m hiring a flying nanny for a family trip.

Above all else, this is what I took away from a recent Yahoo Travel article by friend and colleague, Jo Piazza. The story, titled, “Confessions of an Airline Nanny,” offered up a Q&A with Sara Adra, one of the flying nannies employed by Etihad Airways.

According to the piece, these “Mary Poppins in the sky” (as Piazza puts it) play entertainment concierge, personal chef, and more. They tackle everything from managing carry-on bags to preparing kids for bed and “distracting” kids when they’re feeling spent. And who the hell wouldn’t want that on a flight with kids?

Specifically, Piazza’s piece notes that many flying nannies are skilled puppetry, origami, face painting, and magic tricks. The story quotes Adra recounting an anecdote about a time when she dressed a 4-year-old passenger up in a flight attendant uniform. It also offers up some of Adra’s “expert” advice on soothing crying babies in mid-air; not surprisingly, she mentions offering the child a pacifier.

The piece is a fascinating perspective into the life of the rich and famous, a look at how someone else might mind your kids at 35,000 feet.

It did not mention how much extra flying nannies cost, though I’m guessing it’s a lot.

The part of the story that stuck with me most was the part where Piazza asked Adra about her “duties” in this job. Her response: “I am there to help any family to have an easier flight—whether that means to cater their meal times differently to our serving times, to distract the child with coloring competitions and other fun games while mom and/or dad take a break or even help mind the children while the single traveling parent takes restroom breaks and a quick stretch.”

For me, the notion of “taking a break” on a family trip seems like an incredible luxury. Someday, dear readers, even if only for a few brief moments, I wish all of us can experience it at the hands of a flying nanny.