the only way for to manage as a dad has been to take his wife and two daughters with him. With this blog, Matt shares some of the insights he’s gleaned along the way, as well as tips, tricks, reviews and other fun stories.

Kid amenities worth every penny

Happy Birthday R, courtesy of Four Seasons SF.

Happy Birthday R, courtesy of Four Seasons SF.

We Villanos are big fans of Four Seasons Hotels and Resorts brand. Yes, the room product is amazing. Yes, the service at these resorts—as a family, we’ve stayed at five of them—is second to none.

Really, however, what we like about Four Seasons is the way they welcome kids.

I’m not talking about greetings and salutations here (though the bellmen always are very nice with those). I’m talking about amenities, presents and an assorted variety of other goodies that Four Seasons properties give kids when families visit.

We stayed at the Four Seasons Hotel San Francisco this past weekend as part of R’s birthday celebration (she turned 3 on Monday). This meant the folks at the hotel treated our girls like rock stars, with everything from San Francisco Giants dolls and hats to pre-dinner birthday cake and cookies from room service.

There were other treats, too. Like the “passports” each girl got upon check-in; they loved inserting pictures of themselves and information about personal characteristics such as eye color and hair color.

The “passports” also (could have) doubled as forms of identification when we were out and about.

Another highlight for the girls: the make-your-own sundae option at MKT, the on-site restaurant. We only managed to get to the restaurant for a late lunch, but that didn’t stop us from trying out this incredibly interactive form of dessert. (In case you’re wondering, both girls chose to douse their sundaes with M&M’s.)

On previous visits to Four Seasons hotels all over the world, the kids have enjoyed other amazing amenities, including child-sized robes, kids-only room service menus, in-room game kits, and more.

It might seem odd that a hotel brand popular among luxury and business travelers makes families such a priority. The reality—at least as it seems to me—is that Four Seasons recognizes the benefits of establishing brand loyalty at an early age.

I wouldn’t have noticed this if not for a conversation I had with R earlier today. We were talking about her next birthday, and what she wanted to do. We tossed around ideas of visiting another great monument or a park, or just laying low for a fairy party.

“I want to stay at a Four Seasons, dada,” she said after some pose. Honestly, I don’t blame her one bit.

Birthday vacation in the Big City

The Birthday Girl on the Golden Gate.

The Birthday Girl on the Golden Gate.

We like to celebrate birthdays with panache in this family. When I turned 30, for instance, Powerwoman and I were living in Lima (in Peru), and we spent a weekend dining at some of the best restaurants in town. When L turned 4, we had a party with a cupcake-to-human ratio of at least 4:1. Last September, when R turned 2, we were living in London, she was obsessed with the London Eye, and all she wanted was to ride the thing (which we did).

Naturally, then, this year the pressure was on for us to take the fiesta to the next level.

After much deliberation, we decided to do what any San Francisco Bay Area-based parents of a tourist attraction loving-kid would do: We made plans to travel to the Big City and walk across the Golden Gate Bridge.

Because no Villano can ever do things half-assed, our plans comprised more than just a bridge walk. In addition, the itinerary included a) a Friday overnight at the Four Seasons Hotel San Francisco, b) a family dinner party at Mel’s Drive-In downtown, c) a morning trek to the carousel at the Children’s Creativity Museum, and d) a picnic lunch in the Marin Headlands.

The bridge walk itself was hilarious. It took us about 45 minutes to find a parking spot at the visitor center on the Sausalito (i.e., the north) side, then another 45 minutes to walk out part of the way. We didn’t even make it from the northern end of the bridge to the first station before the Birthday Girl announced, inimitably, that she was “freezing cold” and that she wanted to go home. Still, she managed to enjoy herself (and Mom and Dad managed to snap a few pictures).

What preceded the bridge walk was special for other reasons. We were welcomed at the hotel with special check-in amenities such as chocolate cake, Panda (as in, Pablo Sandoval) hats, and stuffed San Francisco Giants dolls. We commemorated the start of R’s special day with room-service breakfast. Because we got to the carousel right after it opened, we had the whole attraction to ourselves.

Oh, and at the family dinner, everybody (at least everybody in our immediate family) got milkshakes.

Technically, all of this happened less than 100 miles from our house. Still, because we overnighted, because we “road-tripped” to get there, we all considered it a destination birthday. (Yours truly even made special “road trip trail mix” for the ride down.)

Like I’ve said before, you don’t have to travel very far to have the kind of vacation about which you’ll be talking forever. And for us, R’s birthday celebration was yet another vacation to remember.

What are your favorite ways to mix birthdays and family travel?

Part of something very special

FTA logoYou don’t have to read many of my posts to understand that a) I think pretty deeply about family travel and b) I’ve got ideas for how to change public perception about traveling families overall. You also don’t have to dig too deep to discern that even though I’m a man of words, I also am a man of action.

This is precisely why I’m proud to announce that I’ve joined the Board of Advisors for a brand new organization, the Family Travel Association (FTA).

The mission of the organization is simple: To inspire families to travel and to advocate travel as an essential part of every child’s education. In short, the FTA emphasizes the role of travel in the development of our children, and prioritizes travel as an important activity for family bonding and development.

These all are concepts I embrace wholeheartedly.

In the beginning, my role will be to help guide the organization in terms of policies and procedures. I’ll probably do some writing for the group, too, and hope to put together some original pieces for distribution through traditional channels. Over time, this role likely will grow (though I’m not sure how).

I’m honored to be on an all-star team of advisors; a team that includes Keith Bellows, senior vice president and editor-in-chief of National Geographic Traveler magazine; Laura Davidson, president and founder of Laura Davidson Public Relations; Lynn O’Rourke Hayes, editor of FamilyTravel.com; Kyle McCarthy, editor of Family Travel Forum; and Amie O’Shaughnessy, editor of Ciao Bambino (to name a few).

Of course I’m also delighted to work with the organization’s founder, my friend (and a former publisher at National Geographic), Rainer Jenss.

Stay tuned for more updates about my work with the FTA and some of the projects we’ll launch in the first part of 2015. In the meantime, check out this video that Rainer made to help newcomers understand what we’re all about.

When family travel meets natural disaster

The aftermath of Hurricale Oldie

The aftermath of Hurricale Odile

Guest posts aren’t a typical occurrence on this blog. Sometimes, however, circumstances warrant them. Like when natural disasters impact family travel. And when people you love bear the brunt.

Such was the case earlier this month, when our friends and neighbors, Dave and Laurie Hagele, were stranded with their (4- and 2-year-old) kids in Los Cabos, Mexico, due to the aftermath of Hurricane Odile. For the first few days of the experience, Dave and Laurie stayed remarkably positive, taking things (at the Pueblo Bonito Rose Resort) as they came, and embracing the perspective that their problems weren’t nearly as bad as they could have been. Then, on Thursday, the day the Hageles were evacuated, shit got real.

What follows here is a Facebook note Dave wrote Thursday night, after he and his loved ones returned to California, to their beautiful house across the street. I have reprinted it with his permission, and it appears in its entirety, with very minimal edits. Needless to say, we are happy/relieved/thankful our friends are home safe.

On Wednesday around 5:00 p.m., the hotel gathered all the guests into the lobby for an update. They had arranged for busses to take us to the airport at 10 a.m. & 1 p.m. (they had 560 guests in the hotel). They were going to provide us with a box lunch, we’ll head to the Best Western by the airport where we’ll be handed over to the government officials who will ask where we’re going (US or Mexico). We left the meeting staying positive, telling ourselves to expect a long day, but “Hey! This is a once in a lifetime adventure!”

Then it got dark. Our hotel had a generator so we had some electricity, hot showers, etc., but when I looked out from our 6th floor hallway towards town, it was pitch black…and smelled like smoke. That’s when I started to get scared. All the stores had been looted of groceries, there was no water, food, gas, etc. in town and our hotel is lit up like a Christmas tree on the ocean. There were two big bonfires…one outside our gate and one at the entrance to the hotel from the beach to keep away looters from the resort and help the guards see. Needless to say, I didn’t sleep much Wednesday night.

Thursday morning, we got up early, showered, ate breakfast and started packing to leave. We left a suitcase with children’s clothing, shoes, toys, etc. to donate to the staff. Charlotte even gave one of the staff members little 9 month old girl her Purplicious book The hotel next to us (same owners as ours) began evacuations at 6:00 a.m. All the staff lined the drive way waiving white towels (some crying) sending the guests on their way…knowing there goes their jobs.

Learning about evacuation plans at the hotel.

Learning about evacuation plans at the hotel.

At 10 a.m. we boarded a small bus with everyone’s luggage in the isle. It was a little muggy & hot, but once we started moving, the breeze was nice. We received the same send off from the staff and it was very emotional leaving them behind. As we exited the gates and started up the highway, the true impact of the devastation was felt. We were lucky…hotels were demolished, all power poles were down, roofs blown off and palm trees snapped in half. We passed a couple of gas stations with lines of cars stretching miles long waiting for gas. We get to San Jose Del Cabo and the supermarket there was looted, everything was thrashed and people were holding their cell phones up trying to get a signal.

We then turn towards the airport. At this point, Jackson had already peed through his diaper onto Laurie’s lap (thank you Mexican diapers), but we weren’t worried since we would be at the Best Western, we can change him, freshen up and get ready to get our assignment for the flight out.

Then we see the airport. It looked like it had been bombed…then we start to see a line of people…6-8 deep, about a mile long…I’m thinking, wow, I’m glad we’re not in that line! We weren’t. The bus stopped and told everyone to get out, then left. Our line was the other line about a mile long. We’ve never felt more helpless and scared in our lives. Laurie started sobbing and there was nothing I could do to fix it. We couldn’t go back to the hotel, we basically were dumped into the crowd to fend for ourselves. There was no water, no food, no cell service and we were standing in the blazing Cabo sun with barely any breeze. The “Best Western”, looked like a car bomb had exploded outside. There was a shaded overhang so we were able to get Laurie, [my mother-in-law, Cindy] and the kids there while I went back to take my place in line with everyone else. It was 11:00 a.m.

Upon arriving at the airport, this was the line.

Upon arriving at the airport, this was the line.

I finally made it to the back of the line. At around 1:30 p.m., the line finally moved after the first of the rescue planes started arriving (they were letting 100 people at a time through to the airport). Through out the day, Laurie & I would switch standing in line and checking on the kids…walking the distance of the snaking line multiple times. They weren’t allowing any family or kids to go ahead, but at least they were in the shade…granted, there was vomit everywhere, sheetrock, glass & general filth, but they were shaded. Considering the circumstances, the kids did pretty well. Everyone was sharing their toys and any food or snacks they had. Around 3:30 p.m. Laurie came back to tell me that Charlotte wasn’t drinking any water, was turning pale and said her “tummy hurts”…I went up to check on her while Laurie stayed with the bags. Cindy said the guard had just made an announcement they were going to start taking the elderly & families. I confirmed with him when I got there, said my wife was back in the line and he said, “Go get her now”.

I ran back, got Laurie and we booked it to the shaded area. After about 10 minutes, they started moving the families & elderly into a line. We stood in that line for another 10 minutes before they said “go go go” and we then started walking, dragging our luggage and tired kids, along with everyone else to the “boarding area”. There, for the next 45 minutes, we filled out forms indicating names, passport number, flight we came in on, etc. and waited. We didn’t know if we were going to Phoenix or LAX. A guy comes in and yells, “4 seats to LAX!” and we pounced. We then went back into the sun onto the tarmac about 4 planes down where a Southwest Airlines crew was waiting to take our bags, forms, etc. They had an ice chest with cans of water and it tasted SOOOOO good! I sat with the kids on the tarmac in the shade of the plane while Laurie dealt with the forms. By then, Charlotte was feeling better, which was a relief.

The plane that took my friends home.

The plane that took my friends home.

Once they said we could board, Laurie started sobbing and the flight attendant gave her a big hug and said, “It’s o.k. sweetie…we’ll get you home”.

Cindy, Laurie & Charlotte each had a seat and I had a seat in the back of the plane with Jackson on my lap…as the plan started taxing down the runway, I looked out and say numerous planes lined up to bring in supplies and take people out. As soon as the plan lifted off, I hugged Jackson really hard and I totally lost it and started sobbing…then he peed his pants and I was soaked…thank you Mexican diapers…it was around 5:00 p.m.

The flight had food, ice cold drinks and a very friendly staff. We landed in LAX around 6:00 p.m. and breezed through customs. I was able to get us on the LAX – Santa Rosa flight leaving at 7:55 p.m., which gave us time to eat a real meal, get settled a bit and change the kids into their jammies…both kids crashed out the second the plane took off. When we landed in Santa Rosa round 9:20, I lost it again.

Laurie & I always try to live by the motto, “There are a lot of people that would trade their problems for ours”. I think that group would be a much smaller group for this one. I would not wish yesterday on anyone and couldn’t help thinking about the people I stood in line with for 5 hours that were left in the sun while we got out.

We are so grateful to be home…safe. Our thoughts are with the staff who sent us on our way and everyone left in Cabo.

Family travel for road warriors

As someone who does a significant amount of solo travel for work, I’m always planning epic trips as a way to reconnect with the family members I’ve left behind. For us, these trips (such as last month’s week-long escapade at Walt Disney World Resort) aren’t only about escaping, they’re about escaping together. And the adventures almost always are the kinds of jaunts we’ll all remember for life.

This is why I particularly was moved by a new ad from one of my biggest clients, Expedia. On the surface, the ad, a television commercial, trumpets Expedia’s new Expedia+ rewards program, which gives customers one point for every dollar spent on travel.

Really, however, the ad is a comment on the notion of reconnecting with family after a series of business trips.

The family in the ad uses some of the dad’s 83,000 Expedia+ Rewards points to head out on an African Safari. While we Villanos haven’t traveled that far afield, we have come close, and we certainly aren’t ruling out that type of trip in the future.

For me, the bottom line here is that sometimes, family travel is about more than the travel itself. It’s refreshing to see an online travel agency like Expedia recognize that reality in this medium.

The coolest playground on Earth

The park for "off-leash kids."

The park for “off-leash kids.”

In many ways, we build our family travel around playgrounds. We try to fly through airports that have child play zones. On road trips, we plan our stops in cities with play structures about which other parents rave. When we finally settle in a destination, we always ask the hotel concierge—or people who work in local toy shops—for directions to the best park.

Heck, when we spent last fall in London, we explored the entire city by playground-hopping from one neighborhood to the next.

Naturally, then, when I read about a kick-ass new playground (like some of the ones profiled in this Travel + Leisure roundup), it piques my interest in a big way.

This is why I was so intrigued to hear about the new Terra Nova Rural Park in Richmond, British Columbia. The playground recently reopened after a major renovation—an upgrade that reportedly cost upward of CAN$1 million. Early reviews say the place might be the best playground on Earth.

Highlights of the new spot include a tandem zipline, a 30-foot-tall treehouse and a hill specifically designed for rolling down. There’s also a sand play area, a water play area, a meadow maze, and something called a “log jam,” which is designed to replicate the sensation of walking across a series of beach logs.

Reports indicate that city officials designed the park to mimic nature, and that they solicited input from kids. The city is marketing the park as an “adventure play environment” for “off-leash kids.”

In short, this place sounds like an amazing spot around which to plan a trip.

The park opens formally Sept. 27—the last Saturday of the month. We weren’t planning to go back to British Columbia any time soon. Now, however, we might have to rejigger our schedule to check it out.

Where are some of your favorite playgrounds and why do you like them so much?

A key to good naps on family trips

Knock, knock...

Knock, knock…

If your family is anything like my family, good naps for the kids are hard to come by on family trips. General excitement, unfamiliar sleeping environments, and jet lag often work together to disrupt even the most necessary of afternoon siestas. To make matters worse, on those rare occasions when one of our girls actually does doze off, something inevitably wakes her up.

This why I am currently obsessed with the Knock Nanny, which debuted at the 2014 ABC Kids Expo in Las Vegas this week.

In a nutshell, the product is a universal doorbell cover that gives would-be sleep disruptors a stern-but-loving warning about waking the sleeping kid. The covers fit perfectly over doorbells at most vacation houses. They also fit nicely over many (but not all) doorbells inside luxury hotels.

Think of the product as the modern take on a handwritten note you’d tape to the door.

Because the Knock Nanny physically covers the doorbell, however, there’s no chance a would-be child-awakener can wake up the sleeping babe.

The device has 27 available decals you can affix to the front—stickers with cute slogans designed to give people the message to keep it down. Most of the slogans are PG; stuff like “Please knock softly,” and, “Shhh! Baby Sleeping.” I also like the one with tiny star icons that says, “Future Star Sleeping Inside.”

Perhaps the best thing about the Knock Nanny is the price: No matter where you buy it, you can get it for less than $6. Not a bad investment for a nap or two on your next big trip.

What are your secrets for getting kids to nap on family vacations?

Soaring above Las Vegas as a family

The High Roller at night, summer 2014.

The High Roller at night, summer 2014.

Most of the time, my two main beats as a journalist—family travel and Vegas—exist in separate spheres.

Sometimes, however, the two come together in odd and wonderful ways. Such as the latest news about the High Roller, which, at 550 feet tall is the world’s largest observation wheel.

Late last month, the folks from Caesars Entertainment (which owns the wheel and the surrounding open-air mall, The LINQ) announced that the High Roller will open for 90 minutes one day a week exclusively for families with young children.

Dubbed the Family Hour Package, the program will allow riders with kids 12 and under to ride the wheel between 10-11:30 a.m. every Saturday in a family setting free of other (read: potentially wasted) customers. The package is priced at $49.95 and is available every week. According to a press release, it includes:

  • Two adult tickets
  • Three children tickets
  • Three High Roller binoculars for guests to keep
  • Three Juice drinks from the Sky Lounge

Having been up in the High Roller a handful of times since it opened in late 2013, I can say this: The package is a super deal. Juice drinks alone probably retail for $18 during regular business hours, which makes the ticket prices of approximately $32 for five people a steal.

The folks at Caesars told me families also can use their ticket stubs from Family Hour Package to receive discounts for a show at The Quad (a hotel that is set to change its name to The LINQ later this year).

My advice? Do the wheel, then wander west up the LINQ toward the Strip, stopping at Sprinkles cupcakes for a morning jolt or Hash House a Go Go (inside The Quad) for heaping portions of eggs and potatoes for brunch. On your way, stop in at the Polaroid Fotobar and print out some of the pictures you took up on the wheel. Even in Vegas, there’s nothing like a souvenir you can touch and hold.

Managing differing expectations on a family trip

Believe it or not, this was fun.

Believe it or not, this was fun.

Growing up on the north shore of Long Island, in New York, I spent most of my free time on the beach. As often as possible, I’d ride my dirt bike there from my house, park the bike and walk up and down the beach, ogling marine mammals, hunting for shells, wading in the waves, and more. I enjoyed this ritual so much, there were entire days when I wouldn’t want to do anything else.

Naturally, then, when I became a father, I wanted to share this experience with my daughters. The only problem: They wanted to create beach experiences of their own.

The first time I learned this lesson was this past winter; on a visit with L to our favorite local beach to see some seal pups, all she wanted to do was walk in the nearby river and toss rocks (at birds and whitecaps) in the surf.

I was reminded of the same lesson again earlier this week, on a trip to the very same beach with R.

My plan was modest at best—in one hour, I was hoping we’d walk along the shoreline, check out some kelp and look for whale blows in the distance. The baby had other designs: All she wanted to do was sit on her bottom and sift through handfuls of sand for shards of beach glass.

At first, the discrepancy between expectations was adorable: R is so wonderfully independent, it was a pleasure to see her exerting free will so demonstratively. But when it became clear that my little girl wasn’t willing to budge ONE BIT, I started wondering about the degree to which I should be driving the day.

The questions came quickly. What’s wrong with this kid? Is she ill? Why the hell doesn’t she want to explore more of this place? Could she *hate* the beach?

Self-doubt crept in next. Is it too hands-on to drag her on a stroll down the beach? Will forcing her to look for whales prompt her to hate whales (or the beach, for that matter) forever? Am I a terrible father if I make her do something she obviously want to do?

I gave myself a few minutes to think over these questions. Then I made up my mind. And I did nothing.

Against all instincts, I let R experience the beach the way she wanted to, scratching at the sand like cat in a litter box. After a few minutes, R looked up at me and invited me to stop staring out at the ocean and join her. So I did.

I’ll be honest, it took me a while to accept that this was the way my kid and I were going to spend our day at the beach. Ultimately, I had no choice but to accept it. And I’m glad I did.

If I’ve learned anything in five years as a father, it’s that family travel often forces us to balance our kids’ expectations and our own. Most of the time, we parents know best. Sometimes, however, it’s important for us to recognize that our kids simply may not want what we want for them, and adjust accordingly.

Next time I take my kids to the beach, I hope they are willing to give me even five minutes to experience the place the way I’d like to. If they do, great. If they don’t, in the scheme of things, that’s great too. So long as we’re there together, so long as my kids recognize what a special spot the beach can be, I’ll be happy with however the day plays out. More than anything, that’s my job as their Dad.

Maximizing fun for family adventurers

Terra Darts. Just one of the many cool things about the REI Kid Pack.

Terra Darts. Fun!

Earlier this year, a friend of mine hipped me to some family-friendly excursions from REI Adventures. I did some digging and it turns out the tour operator has a handful of trips specifically designed for families. These multi-day trips go to a handful of faraway places including South Africa & Botswana, Thailand, the Greek Islands, Machu Picchu, and the Great Smoky Mountains (to name a few).

Every kid on these trips also receives a custom REI Kids Adventure Pack.

I’m not going to write about the trips themselves—my kids are too young to experience them (with one exception, the minimum age starts around 8) and, quite frankly, you can learn plenty about them by clicking through the outfitter’s site.

After obtaining a sample Kids Adventure Pack, however, I am delighted to share more about the awesomeness of that.

First, of course, is the pack itself—an REI-branded Flash 18 minimalist daypack that turns inside-out to double as a stuff sack and has a safety whistle built-in to the sternum strap. Inside, my sample came with an REI kids active wear t-shirt, a travel journal, REI-branded postcards, and an achievement award that is presented to kids upon completion of their adventure.

My sample pack also had two kick-ass games: 1) Terra Darts, a Seattle Sports lawn darts game (you fill the darts with pebbles) that you can play just about anywhere, and 2) Pass the Pigs, a craps-like game in which the dice are tiny pigs (you get points based upon the positions in which the pigs end up after you toss them).

Apparently, games vary per pack, though I’m not sure any other games could possibly be cooler than the ones I received. I also really liked the pack itself; I used the sample as a daypack on a hike with L and R this week and it worked great. To be fair, however, I found the postcards to be pretty lame. Isn’t the whole idea of postcards to purchase cards from your faraway destinations and send them to folks back home as souvenirs?

Bottom line: The REI Kids Adventure Park kits are a win.

I admire REI Adventures for offering family-oriented excursions in the first place. Beyond that, equipping kids who take these trips with special backpacks designed to maximize fun is genius. I only wish my girls were old enough to take on one of these adventures. We’ll just have to wait until 2019.

What do you bring with your kids on trips to help maximize fun?